Car Horns ≠ Social Tools

When somebody beeps their horn at me while I'm walking on the sidewalk, I never react. Ever.

Correction: sometimes I startle a bit and cringe into a half-assed defensive posture, just like everybody else within a hundred foot radius of a car horn. (I resist the urge, but reflex is a powerful motivator.) I react this way because the average automobile honk is, by design, alarmingly loud and omnidirectional. Clearly, it is not a device well-suited to communicate such subtleties as a warm, friendly "Hi there!" to a specific individual. In fact, there are only two legitimate messages one should send with a car horn:

1) "You there! I am about to smash into you with my vehicle. Evade me, or brace for crushing impact."

2) "The light is green. Please stop texting and move your fucking car."

That's it. If you're beeping for any other reason, you are most likely misusing your car horn.